THE TROUBLE WITH NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS is that they change your life when you actually keep them. For better AND for worse.
For better, I went to the gym this morning (Resolution #1). For worse, that put me 87 minutes behind schedule, and now here it is, 3:00 in the afternoon, and I still haven’t run my errands, paid my bills, nor returned my phone calls. But I did go to the gym, take a shower, and take time to prepare a nutritious meal (which was Resolution #2).
(Do you hear me patting myself on the back, here?)
Now, as I’m about to head out and run errands, I’m facing the beginning of rush hour traffic, and the dilemma confronts me: Go anyway, and take twice as long to run those errands, than if I had run them earlier in the day (like I used to, before I started keeping Resolutions 1 and 2)?
OR – stay home and eat leftover lasagna (thereby breaking Resolution #2) for dinner, instead of the fresh veggies I would have purchased on my twice-as-long errand run, over which I’m stressing, even now, as I type!?
Which leads me to Resolution #3: Blog more often than every 3 months. So . . . in keeping Resolution #3, I have now officially pushed my errand-running into the height of rush hour traffic, and will most assuredly be eating leftover lasagna for dinner.
Now, did I mention Resolution #4? Pay attention to my finances. Perfect . . . or so it would seem.
But in keeping Resolution #1 (Go to the gym), Resolution #2 (Take time to eat nutritiously) and Resolution #3 (Blog more often), I am really impinging upon Resolution #4 (Pay attention to my finances) . . . because now I will most assuredly be postponing TODAY’S errands until TOMORROW, which means that I won’t be returning those two remaining gift debacles to the store from where I purchased them — and I will then have exceeded the allotted 60 days to actually get a cash refund. Which means that my already over-stressed bank account will not be getting the relief I had intended to give it – before I went to the gym, ate a nutritious breakfast, started this blog, and finally flaked out on running my errands.
Flaked out? Flaked out!?! No! NEVER!
Because Resolution #5 is the best one, ever: NO EXCUSES – JUST DO IT!
And I have the courage of my convictions. So I will do my Wonder Woman spin – Tada! And then face rush hour traffic, return those gift debacles today (before they morphinto lost cash). buy fresh veggies for dinner – and get home in time to gobble up that dinner before 7:00 pm (Resolution #6), at which time I will not eat until AFTER I go to the gym again, tomorrow morning.
When it all begins again . . . all over again. Oh . . . joy.
Okay . . . ugh!
But hey, I can do this . . . which means that instead of sitting here and thinking up a clever ending that will make you all smile – I am about to dash out the door, plod through rush hour traffic, get my errands done in record time, then hustle buns to prepare and eat that nutritious din-din by 7:00 pm.
So, would someone please do me a favor – and post a comment to end this blog on a lighter note? PLEASE? Cuz I sure do need some comic relief from all these serious resolutions!
One week later. . . . Well, that was an interesting 7 days. And it might all have gone just as planned, if I hadn’t hugged Maisey when she came over to borrow $40 so she could buy some supplements to help her beat the flu. I’ve always liked Maisey, and that’s why I was more than happy to help her out in her hour of need. Trouble is, the flu bug didn’t care how nice I was or how many resolutions I had made.
Because the flu bug is out to control our lives. No, destroy them! And that is why, over the course of the last 7 days, I have broken every single one of my New Year Resolutions (wah!). I –
#1 — Stopped going to the gym. (No energy.)
#2 — Stopped cooking nutritious food. (Too much like work.)
#3 — Let this blog languish, unpublished. (Out of sight – out of mind.)
#4 — Forgot to pay my bills. (Too many naps.)
#5 — Gave myself every excuse in the book to be a flake. (Denial – a flake’s best friend.)
#6 — And ate whatever I felt like eating, whenever I felt like eating it. (Who cares, anyway?)